Keep on

Sometimes is hard, sometimes life is really hard, sometimes is not really as hard and harsh as it seems but we manage to make things even more difficult... Nobody's perfect, not a single person in this fucking world and I'm just a small inch of this map we build together.

That trip changed me a little, more than I'm aware of right now. I'll tell you a simple story of a girl and a bike.

She was in Ireland, enjoying a more-than-deserved holidays of her life after: a break-up (repeated), a new and demanding job, a flu, several colds, losing 5 kgs., several drunkness, rejecting a grant, losing the opportunity to get another grant, another failed love affair...and so on. But she was finally far away from extra hours at job, away from demanding tutors and happy couples. The group of girls were going to rent bikes to ride on the biggest parks of Europe: Phoenix Park in Dublin. She was really excited about it, prepared to go for a ride with her friends. They arrived there and, as usual, she was the spokeswoman of the group. Once they've rented them all mount their bikes but there was something wrong. She had completely forgot how to ride a bike!!! How could she forgot such thing! She started to get nervous, and absurd about it but her friends calmed her down, took her to a green path inside the park where they could give her some advices...she started to ride again! Fiercely, fast...she did not know how to stop it!......and......hit a metal fence...and tears started falling down...she was feeling extremely ashamed. She felt like a small child...but in the body of a small woman.

Once calmed down (after lunch), she tried again. This time for good. And she was doing well, but she was not in complete control of it...this time he hit an old woman trying to avoid colliding with another person. She felt wildly to the gravel... How much time did she spend on the floor she did not know...the woman came to her rescue, and after 32 apologies (aprox.), and an improvised bandage on the hurt and bleeding hand she started to think that renting a bike was not a good idea...but her friends were having a great time...except for her complaining and falling off all the time. So she took the fairest decision, let them continue riding while she decided what to do (she was also waiting for that pain in her knee to stop...). She looked backwards into the cycling path...she had ridden about 2 km. so far, was she going to give up now? She started to walk slowly, but instead to walk backwards to give back the bike she continue walking through the cycling path, slower...until she was prepared...she had though of this day since someone mentioned the idea of riding a bike about a month ago...she was not going to give up now. So she climbed on top of it, take a deep breath, forgot about the bleeding hand and the hurting knee, and started to ride through the grass...and she did not fell off now, not a single time! She was all alone, among all the trees and wild animals, with her camera and her music as her only company...and she was so happy. The idea of giving the bike back was even funny now, she stopped sometimes to have a break, but as soon as she could she started to ride again. After about 3 hours it was time to come back and meet her friends so she started to ride through that same cycling path were she had fallen off some time ago...or what it now seemed some years ago. On her way, she came across one of her friends who started shouting in glee after seeing her riding so confidently. It's funny because once the finally get off the bike she could not get on again since the pain in her knee had become serious. But it was enough, she had learned something very important that day.

Sometimes is hard, you try and you fall, and fall again once you think you are doing well, and you may even forget how to do it and you think is difficult. The easiest thing is to give up, it's also the quickest but it's not the best. Each of us has had a day one of those days when you just think you could not continue. However, in those difficult times I still remind myself of that day: when I am rejected from another job opportunity, when I have a tough day driving, when I see myself alone on a Thursday night... when I nearly give up and missed the opportunity to try again, to keep on fighting for the things I want.